A Brilliant Menu Plan

Given the fact that our digestive powers decrease with age, is this really a wise meal to serve in a retirement community? All I can say is I'm glad I no longer work in the health care center where a meal like this can mean only one thing--hell for the caregivers who come on board that night!

White Chili

Chicken Kiev

Beer Brats with Sauerkraut

Corned Beef

German Potato Salad

Cabbage

Asparagus

Strawberry Pie

Of those selections, the only ones that don't make for a rootin' tootin' time are the Chicken Kiev and the Strawberry Pie. The rest of it makes for an intestinal blast of proportions only magnified by the aging gut's inability to break down such robust food-stuffs. I already have a hell of a time digesting bratwurst, and I'm in my 40's. Imagine what will happen when I'm in my 80's. It will probably explode in my stomach and straight up kill me!

Sauerkraut is actually supposed to be good for the digestion. But it does make one fart. And then when you add more cabbage on top of it? Seriously, if they serve this down in the health care center there is only one thing left to believe: that they are trying to kill off the staff!